Why ILLUMENATE?

I’ve put a ton of energy over the last three decades of my life working on myself while simultaneously supporting others. I’ve felt like I’ve been doing the right thing, fighting the right fights. I’ve certainly had my share of struggles where I haven’t shown up as a good human, haven’t been a supportive partner, or failed to uplift a colleague. But my trajectory has been in the right direction.

And I’ve felt our society’s trajectory has followed suit. We’ve had our ups and downs, but the trend has been in the right direction. But the one group that has struggled the most with this progress is … men.

As society, built primarily by men and for men, rightfully improves to empower women and others, we haven’t really asked the questions: How are men doing through all of this? How can men thrive in a more diverse, equitable world?

I ask these questions against the backdrop of our ongoing cultural and political battles in which a brash brand of masculinity seemingly devoid of empathy has been widely embraced by men — including larger segments of young men. In the most recent election cycle, ultra-popular podcasters influenced millions with this uber-traditional masculine message.

Cue the calls to burn down the patriarchy and extinguish men’s toxic behavior.

It’s easy to cast a negative light over men and call their masculine energy toxic. It’s easy to blame men for all that ails our society. It’s harder to ask the deeper question: Why are so many men struggling to find a place to belong as men in an increasingly diverse and equitable world? Why is there so much backlash?

I have to believe a more equitable world is unfamiliar territory that men are generally unprepared to enter. We have to offer grace. In some areas, men are expected to play different, healthier roles in society, but often men don’t know how to move toward a modern, more fully human masculinity.

We’re expecting men to discard their traditional programming without the resources to write new code.

In the words of author Richard Reeves in Of Boys and Men, “[a man] is torn between the kind of man he was told to be, and the kind of man the world needs.” (As an aside, Reeves’ book is an excellent dive into this topic, even if I don’t subscribe to all of his prescriptive remedies.)

I have to believe there are enough men with good hearts who are simply lost. Disconnected. Disaffected. Without a lighthouse, they’re attracted to what’s familiar, what welcomes them, even if they know in their gut it’s not right. It is these men — and boys — who need a life preserver, a lighthouse — maybe just something familiar— to guide them through the often-confusing expectations of today’s world. It’s really hard to rail against your programming when boys and young men are taught to be one thing and the world needs them to be something else.

I believe men need the examples of and connection with other men who have found a way to open their minds and hearts to embrace the realities of a world where everyone, including men, can feel empowered, heard, and rewarded.

It’s really hard work. I don’t stand here virtuous among the struggling. I just know that the most rewarding moments of my life have been when I’ve done the work to be a whole and connected human, rather than masquerade as some predetermined notion of what I’m supposed to be. We men sell ourselves and the world short when we don’t allow ourselves permission to do this necessary work.

I’ve spent a good amount of time on Threads lately, engaging in conversations on the topic. One post received 8.5K+ views, 480+ likes, and 115+ comments. It’s definitely a hot topic. As you might expect, there’s a wide variety of opinions, including a significant amount of anger and venom, most of which came from men. This anger can be explained, even if we never excuse the behavior. There’s also a receptive middle of both men and women who see the nuance that exists in what is too often seen through a binary filter. We can be completely in support of gender equity for women and also acknowledge — and do something about — the fact that men and boys are struggling.

I can’t even begin to solve these issues on my own, but I have to do something. My mind and heart won’t rest unless I do. I have to believe that there are a lot of men lost at sea, and just need a guide — an example — toward the shore. I believe the stories of men who have found a secure and healthy footing on the right side of progress can be that example.

In early 2025, I will launch ILLUMENATE, a podcast that tells the stories of men with good hearts, open minds, and a desire to make the world better for everyone — not just them and theirs.

This podcast will be the real stories of men’s lives — their influences and role models and how they’ve worked to develop themselves. Being a whole, contributing human takes work — and men are no exception.

These won’t be stories of men who have discarded their masculinity. Rather I hope to bring forward examples of confident men who work to avoid arrogance. Loyal men who hold themselves and each other accountable. Bold men who take responsibility for their actions and impact. Resilient men who have found healthy, genuine expression of their emotions and cultivate their mental health. Leaders who uplift, amplify, and serve. Independent men who build and embrace community. Providers in equal partnerships. Fathers who are emotionally attuned and deeply connected to their children. Protectors who extend cover beyond their inner circle. Men who have discovered a wholeness in their humanity that delivers benefits to them and the world around them.

ILLUMENATE will not be a political podcast. Political histories will certainly cross the conversations, as they are often important context to our stories.

The podcast will be a video interview format, where guests will share their stories, highlighting their backgrounds, the ways they are thriving, the pivotal points along their journey, where they find faith, hope, and belonging, and the places they still struggle.

My hope is that these stories will give men a push to dive more deeply into their own growth and be inspired to see an evolved masculinity as an opportunity for deeper meaning and connection along a journey to human wholeness.

While I have a list of guests to start, I’m always interested in having more. If you want your story to be a part of ILLUMENATE, please fill out this form and I’ll reach out to set up an initial conversation. If we determine you’re a good match for the podcast, we’ll then set up a time to record online via Riverside.fm.